TUES: The Goal Setting Path to Sanity
We are maddening creatures.
We want to achieve certain outcomes in life, only, there are habits we all have that we aren’t willing to give up. So what ends up happening to a lot of us is a cycle of trying hard to get the thing, without ever actually getting it. Often born out a lack of honesty with ourselves on what constitutes a want versus a need.
At our Coach’s Lab, we’ve talked about how to help people sort through motivational want versus indispensable need, and today I’d like to help you through that process, as well.
Many professionals will tell you that you need to do a better job of making sacrifices, that it’s a discipline issue. Maybe. In a lot of cases, yes. But I’m here today to tell you before you start questioning your discipline towards a goal, stop, take a minute, and ask yourself what you’re REALLY willing to give up or change in order to get it. I am also here today to tell you that there is nothing wrong with downgrading your goals if you come to the conclusion that your life will be net worse off if you have to sacrifice certain things in order to get it.
Needs are things in your life you absolutely must have. Wants are things that you’d like to achieve. An example of a need would be, “I need to lose fifteen pounds because I can no longer fit into my clothes.” A want would be, “I want to hit a 200# back squat.” There is no wrong want or need. We all rate things on different levels, the point here is not to separate those for you. That’s yours and yours alone. But the key is that you absolutely MUST separate them if you are to ever be happy with fitness and your result from it.
Allow me to use myself to highlight this point.
I train relatively hard in the hard in the gym three to four days per week. That’s a need for me. I need to do that in order to stay in shape, lead by example, feel good about myself, and set myself up for long term health and longevity.
However, other needs I have include doing fun things with my wife, hanging out with friends on the weekend, watching the playoffs while eating wings, Pizza Sundays, and other things you’d probably be quite surprised are a regular part of my life. If that sounds strange to call those things a need, I get it. But for me, they are what keep me balanced. I will go insane if I have to track macros everyday, can’t experience the joy of Oscar’s surf n’ turf tacos, or have some beers while watching my favorite sport. Those things have always been a part of my life, what make me happy, and they always will.
I have no issue at all labeling them needs.
The point is that if I were to have a goal of 7% body fat, I would end up having a terrible relationship with fitness, because my lack of discipline towards that goal and my lifestyle of 80% “healthy” and 20% “whatever”, would never allow me to reach it. I would get frustrated, and I would bail. It doesn’t mean I can’t have fitness and body composition goals. The point here is not to excuse your laziness, glutton, or any other form our chronic dysfunction that make up your habits. I manage to stay relatively lean and in shape while enjoying the life that I want, because Monday through Friday, I work extremely hard on my fitness and goals. I meal prep, track, and am meticulously aware of everything I put into my body. But I’ve lowered my ceiling on what I can achieve, and I’m fine with it. I’ve been able to have a great relationship with life, fitness, and balance because I understand what my wants are and my needs are.
Sure, my want would be to be absolutely shredded, but that’s not my need. Happiness, health, friends, relationships, and balance are. Not the solitary pursuit of elite results. You might be the opposite, which is wonderful if that’s where you land. If I recommend anything to you with complete conviction, it is this: figure out your wants and figure out your needs honestly, and with complete self candor.
Otherwise, you will never be happy.
First. For Structure
5/s Goblet Curtsy Lunge to Lateral Step up
8 Ab Rollouts
8 Paused Ring Rows (2”)
Complete 1 set every 4′ for 16′
Then. For Conditioning.
3/s SL RDL
3/s ½ Kneeling LM Press
6 Ring Push Ups
3/s KB Halo
10 Sprinter Crunches